“For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.”

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Twitter-tweets, Chats and Texts...

but are we really communicating?


Language is a fascinating phenomenon. There are approximately 6900 known languages world-wide, not to mention various dialects within each language, as well as lingo pertaining to a particular trade or profession. It is not the words themselves that concern me; but, how we use them.


Are we understandable?
 

The technological advances in communication have been extraordinary during my lifetime. And, yet, I am observing, more and more,  that we are forgetting how to speak and write properly.  Most of the tweets, chats and texts I've seen are choppy, full of abbreviations or codes, and lack capitalization or punctuation. And, that makes perfect sense, when you are typing on a device the size of the palm of your hand (or smaller).  What concerns me is: what if the current generation is actually forgetting how to talk in complete sentences and to think complete thoughts?

Our family enjoys words: Big words, little words, expressive words, unusual words, descriptive words.  Communication has been an integral part of our marriage and our parenting.  We believe in honesty, yet discretion and respectfulness; "say what you mean, mean what you say"; "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"; using words "to edification, and exhortation, and comfort." (1 Corinthians 14:3)

It figures that when there is a misunderstanding, it is particularly troubling. Miscommunication can occur for so many reasons: carelessness, false assumptions, and lack of charity are among them.  Communication is a two-way street. It is not only talking, but listening and  understanding.
   
We are familiar with the Bible verses that instruct us in our speech;  

Ephesians 4:29: Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. 
Ecclesiastes 10:12:  Words from a wise man's mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips. 
Matthew 12:34:   For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. 
Ephesians 5:4:  Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 
Colossians 3:8: But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 
Colossians 4:6: Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

 
but, what about the way we listen?


1 Thessalonians 5:11 : Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;

Proverbs 10:19 : When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.
Proverbs 17:27:  A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.
Proverbs 29:20: Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.


To be effective, communication must have clear speech and receptive listening, whether it be a tweet, a chat, a text, a letter or a conversation.

 
I have been reminded recently of the importance of giving the benefit of the doubt, not jumping to false conclusions, and assuming the best about the intentions of others ... 


" And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:14) "Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." (Ephesians 4:3)

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

"I Love You"




My 14 year old son seized the opportunity of a fogged bathroom mirror to leave me a love note. Was I overjoyed? Did the sight bring  tears to my eyes? Was my heart moved? Not exactly. My response was something like this: "If you really love me, you wouldn't create more work for me by writing on the mirror."  Of course, I softened it with "That was sweet. I love you, too; but..."

I just stepped out of the shower, and saw his message again, this morning. And, I was moved. I was also convicted. I thought of the mothers whose children preceded them in death, and how those words smeared onto the mirror would be a treasure to them.  Why do we wait until we have lost something to realize how precious it is to us?!  Why would a perfectly smudge-free mirror be more important to me than an expression of endearment from a teen-aged son? It is not!

I won't be in a hurry to clear and clean that mirror any time soon. I cherish those words. I cherish that boy's heart of love.

I love you, too, Micah. No "but"s about it!