"I Love You"

My 14 year old son seized the opportunity of a fogged bathroom mirror to leave me a love note. Was I overjoyed? Did the sight bring  tears to my eyes? Was my heart moved? Not exactly. My response was something like this: "If you really love me, you wouldn't create more work for me by writing on the mirror."  Of course, I softened it with "That was sweet. I love you, too; but..."

I just stepped out of the shower, and saw his message again, this morning. And, I was moved. I was also convicted. I thought of the mothers whose children preceded them in death, and how those words smeared onto the mirror would be a treasure to them.  Why do we wait until we have lost something to realize how precious it is to us?!  Why would a perfectly smudge-free mirror be more important to me than an expression of endearment from a teen-aged son? It is not!

I won't be in a hurry to clear and clean that mirror any time soon. I cherish those words. I cherish that boy's heart of love.

I love you, too, Micah. No "but"s about it! 

Be Safe!

Doesn't it seem as though we mothers are preoccupied with safety? When it comes to our children, safety, health and happiness rate very highly.

Most of our admonitions are exclamations such as "Be careful!", "Watch out!", "Slow down!"
I believe that God put that protective concern in the heart of parents, especially mothers, for a good reason. We tend to think of parents who don't teach or look after their children's safety as being neglectful.  I am one of those mothers who is prone to think of every possible bad thing that could happen in any given circumstance, and takes measures to preclude it. I don't remember if my mother was this way, or not.  Where I was exposed to the endless lists of precautions, I have no idea. But, I know them all, and teach them diligently. I don't think of it as irrational fear or excessive worry...just...well, just doing my job to protect my loved ones from harm, whether it be physical or emotional.  And then, I hear of one life lost in an accident, a mishap, a moment of distraction; and I am ever more determined never to allow that to happen to my child, if it is in my power to prevent it.

But, if I am honest, I know that it isn't always in my power. "Bad" things happen. Pain happens. Illness happens. Lives are hurt. Lives are lost. 

Even after our best efforts to protect.

As I pondered all of the above, with specific concerns innumerated, I thought of this hymn:

"Safe in the arms of Jesus, Safe on His gentle breast, There by His love o'er-shadowed, Sweetly my soul shall rest."

How important it is to prepare our children for that haven of rest!  That is the only, the eternal place of safety.  All of us will go down the valley, one by one...some after long lives with few incidents, some "cut down" in their youth...but, eventually, all will succumb to death, one way or another. My Mama-heart cannot protect forever; but I know the One Who does!  I am reminding myself today of the most important rule of safety: John 3:16 

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life."

It is my God-given responsibility to teach my children not to run with scissors in their hands, not to cross the street without looking both ways, not to take candy from strangers, etc., etc.

But, more than that, it is my privilege to introduce them to the Savior of their souls.

"For in the day of trouble

he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle

and set me high upon a rock." 

Psalm 27:5

I'm Addicted...

The palette of future rag rugs

...to color!

Ethan's "bedroom"

I'm trying to remember if I was always as enthralled with color as I am currently. Perhaps it comes with age...not taking so much for granted. I revel in the blue of the sky, the green of the fields, the amber and pinks of the sunrise and sunset.

Maybe I could blame this obsession with color on Ethan. In his infancy it was assumed that he was legally blind, so I went out of my way to provide him with plenty of visual stimulus.

My latest rug project

Within several years I had begun crocheting rag rugs to occupy the hours that accompanied Ethan's seizure sessions. Whatever the reasons, I'm hooked. (literally!) I seem to always be looking for opportunities to combine and exhibit colors, be it a rag rug, a towel set or a prayer board. 

                                           

A birthday gift for Andrea

 Very closely associated with my fascination with joining colors, are the themes of beauty, light and order. These may seem to be unrelated; but upon  further consideration, one sees the harmony and connection between these. For instance, without light, there would be no color. The order of color is displayed when light is refracted through a prism, or through water. What is more beautiful than a rainbow?! And, God's beauty and light are reflected in the same order every time! I could wax super-spiritual here; but I will allow your own imagination and meditation to carry you where it will. As for myself, I have adopted a  philosophy that seeks to incorporate color, beauty, illuminating light and order into my life and the lives of those I influence. I like to think that it reflects God Himself, the Author of these things.

"One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD And to meditate in His temple." (Psalm 27:4)
"This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all." (1John 1:5)
"Let all things be done decently and in order." (1Corinthians 14:40)

Time

I have a little, tattered, blue slip of paper that I have carried with me for at least 40 years. On it are these words:

Time is too slow for those who wait;

Too swift for those who fear;

Too long for those who grieve;

Too short for those who rejoice;

But, for those who love,

Time is not.

(source unknown)

Time is, indeed, a mysterious dimension that can plague and bind us mortal beings. It rushes on when we are not prepared. It seems to come to a standstill when life is the most unbearable.

Have you ever experienced what I call a "time warp"?  That's when some special occasion requires much thought and preparation and anticipation, then, when it's over there is a sensation of disorientation.  Now what? Where am I? What am I supposed to be doing? What is important?

Then, there are those times when you feel powerless and out of control, as though riding an inflatable raft through the rapids of the Colorado River...just hanging on for dear life, waiting, hoping to see how it will end.

In my determination to make Time my ally, rather than an enemy, I have come to several conclusions:

God is love.

I love God.

God is eternal.

I want to live with Him, eternally.

"Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life." (Jude 1:21)

Now How Did THAT Happen???

Apparently, I allowed an entire year to go by without posting on this site. Was it an especially busy year? It would seem so.

For me, it has been a year of reflection and assessment and adjustment. After all, I'm not getting any younger. I have been learning to cope with the challenges that come with an older body and mind, while at the same time, spurring on four, energetic boys and encouraging three grown daughters and one struggling veteran-son. I am finding new ways to contribute, communicate, create and express myself.

I'm mindful of the verse: "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:" in Ecclesiastes 3.

There are phases to life and this year I've sensed a shifting into the next phase.

Grand-parenting is one joyous aspect of this phase! We were particularly remiss in introducing our lovely little granddaughter, Laura Rose Reber, when she joined the family last March. Shame on us. She and Louis aren't quite a year apart. Their relationship is absolutely precious to behold. She dotes on him, imitates him, depends on him; and, he is all too happy to entertain, coddle and protect her. I am extremely grateful for the privilege to have them in such proximity as to touch their lives at least on a weekly basis.

It finally occurred to me that there was no longer any reason why I should not join Howard in regularly donating blood. Please read his eloquent treatise on his "Howard's Harangue" here:
http://howardsharangue.blogspot.com/2008/08/giving-life.html
This has been a rewarding experience, especially since we treat it like a date. :)

Communication has always been of utmost importance to me, hence the addition of the use of Facebook, as well as our blogs. Paper and pencil are still my favorite media; but, it is rare to find someone else who agrees. So, I'm learning to manage my "fellowship" and correspondence time over the Internet.

I have never experienced boredom, to which I so frequently hear young folks refer. I always seem to have more "on my plate" than time permits. The "trick" is to manage and prioritize wisely. It would appear that keeping this blog busy with entries simply fell to the bottom of my list this past year. But, my thoughts have to come out somewhere, sometime; so, maybe "Mama's Musings" will be busier in the future!

A Few of My Favorite Things

The smell of steaming hot bread, just out of the oven...The sound of happy, energetic boys on rollerblades in the sunshine...A wedding rag-rug in process on my lap...Ethan, entertaining himself upright on the floor beside me... Howard on his way home from work, early...Sweet, soft dulcimer lullabies as background music...clear, clean kitchen counters...a kiss from Lauren, just returned safely from a 5-day excursion to Indiana with friend Amber...
ALL AT ONCE!!!

A Tribute

I am married to a man who I am convinced loves me more than any man has ever loved a woman. I should have thought to make this declaration in time for our 33rd anniversary; but it is as true today, and will be as true next year, as ever.
While his attributes are many, this one of loving me, is quintessential. Although not always considered a patient man, his patience for me appears limitless. He has endured my pets, plants, peeves and projects with aplomb, if not applause. He is one of those “incurable romantics” that you hear about, regularly gracing our home with flowers for no reason at all (but his love for me). I am the recipient of many handmade cards, featuring his gift for words, wit, and poetry. It seems that he is always looking for tangible ways to express his love. He has the gift of giving. There is nothing good that he would withhold from me, if it is in his power to procure. My happiness and well-being is utmost on his mind. From our cup of coffee together in the morning, to our shared glass of wine before bed, being together is foremost on his mind. We have Thursday “date night”, Friday lunch dates and occasional special dates. The chat window on our computers daily keeps us in touch during working hours. He is always “there” for me. I can count on him in a crisis or to make a critical decision. He understands me, respects me, protects me. His touch is tender, his embrace unhurried, his heart is sensitive.
No, Howard is not a perfect man; but, he has a perfect love for me. Because of his love, it is easy for me to make the connection to the verses in Ephesians 5:22-33 in regards to husbands and wives as compared to Christ’s love for His church; and in 1 John 4:19 where it says, “We love Him because He first loved us.”
I LOVE HOWARD.