I'm Addicted...

The palette of future rag rugs

...to color!

Ethan's "bedroom"

I'm trying to remember if I was always as enthralled with color as I am currently. Perhaps it comes with age...not taking so much for granted. I revel in the blue of the sky, the green of the fields, the amber and pinks of the sunrise and sunset.

Maybe I could blame this obsession with color on Ethan. In his infancy it was assumed that he was legally blind, so I went out of my way to provide him with plenty of visual stimulus.

My latest rug project

Within several years I had begun crocheting rag rugs to occupy the hours that accompanied Ethan's seizure sessions. Whatever the reasons, I'm hooked. (literally!) I seem to always be looking for opportunities to combine and exhibit colors, be it a rag rug, a towel set or a prayer board. 

                                           

A birthday gift for Andrea

 Very closely associated with my fascination with joining colors, are the themes of beauty, light and order. These may seem to be unrelated; but upon  further consideration, one sees the harmony and connection between these. For instance, without light, there would be no color. The order of color is displayed when light is refracted through a prism, or through water. What is more beautiful than a rainbow?! And, God's beauty and light are reflected in the same order every time! I could wax super-spiritual here; but I will allow your own imagination and meditation to carry you where it will. As for myself, I have adopted a  philosophy that seeks to incorporate color, beauty, illuminating light and order into my life and the lives of those I influence. I like to think that it reflects God Himself, the Author of these things.

"One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD And to meditate in His temple." (Psalm 27:4)
"This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all." (1John 1:5)
"Let all things be done decently and in order." (1Corinthians 14:40)

Time

I have a little, tattered, blue slip of paper that I have carried with me for at least 40 years. On it are these words:

Time is too slow for those who wait;

Too swift for those who fear;

Too long for those who grieve;

Too short for those who rejoice;

But, for those who love,

Time is not.

(source unknown)

Time is, indeed, a mysterious dimension that can plague and bind us mortal beings. It rushes on when we are not prepared. It seems to come to a standstill when life is the most unbearable.

Have you ever experienced what I call a "time warp"?  That's when some special occasion requires much thought and preparation and anticipation, then, when it's over there is a sensation of disorientation.  Now what? Where am I? What am I supposed to be doing? What is important?

Then, there are those times when you feel powerless and out of control, as though riding an inflatable raft through the rapids of the Colorado River...just hanging on for dear life, waiting, hoping to see how it will end.

In my determination to make Time my ally, rather than an enemy, I have come to several conclusions:

God is love.

I love God.

God is eternal.

I want to live with Him, eternally.

"Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life." (Jude 1:21)

Now How Did THAT Happen???

Apparently, I allowed an entire year to go by without posting on this site. Was it an especially busy year? It would seem so.

For me, it has been a year of reflection and assessment and adjustment. After all, I'm not getting any younger. I have been learning to cope with the challenges that come with an older body and mind, while at the same time, spurring on four, energetic boys and encouraging three grown daughters and one struggling veteran-son. I am finding new ways to contribute, communicate, create and express myself.

I'm mindful of the verse: "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:" in Ecclesiastes 3.

There are phases to life and this year I've sensed a shifting into the next phase.

Grand-parenting is one joyous aspect of this phase! We were particularly remiss in introducing our lovely little granddaughter, Laura Rose Reber, when she joined the family last March. Shame on us. She and Louis aren't quite a year apart. Their relationship is absolutely precious to behold. She dotes on him, imitates him, depends on him; and, he is all too happy to entertain, coddle and protect her. I am extremely grateful for the privilege to have them in such proximity as to touch their lives at least on a weekly basis.

It finally occurred to me that there was no longer any reason why I should not join Howard in regularly donating blood. Please read his eloquent treatise on his "Howard's Harangue" here:
http://howardsharangue.blogspot.com/2008/08/giving-life.html
This has been a rewarding experience, especially since we treat it like a date. :)

Communication has always been of utmost importance to me, hence the addition of the use of Facebook, as well as our blogs. Paper and pencil are still my favorite media; but, it is rare to find someone else who agrees. So, I'm learning to manage my "fellowship" and correspondence time over the Internet.

I have never experienced boredom, to which I so frequently hear young folks refer. I always seem to have more "on my plate" than time permits. The "trick" is to manage and prioritize wisely. It would appear that keeping this blog busy with entries simply fell to the bottom of my list this past year. But, my thoughts have to come out somewhere, sometime; so, maybe "Mama's Musings" will be busier in the future!

A Few of My Favorite Things

The smell of steaming hot bread, just out of the oven...The sound of happy, energetic boys on rollerblades in the sunshine...A wedding rag-rug in process on my lap...Ethan, entertaining himself upright on the floor beside me... Howard on his way home from work, early...Sweet, soft dulcimer lullabies as background music...clear, clean kitchen counters...a kiss from Lauren, just returned safely from a 5-day excursion to Indiana with friend Amber...
ALL AT ONCE!!!

A Tribute

I am married to a man who I am convinced loves me more than any man has ever loved a woman. I should have thought to make this declaration in time for our 33rd anniversary; but it is as true today, and will be as true next year, as ever.
While his attributes are many, this one of loving me, is quintessential. Although not always considered a patient man, his patience for me appears limitless. He has endured my pets, plants, peeves and projects with aplomb, if not applause. He is one of those “incurable romantics” that you hear about, regularly gracing our home with flowers for no reason at all (but his love for me). I am the recipient of many handmade cards, featuring his gift for words, wit, and poetry. It seems that he is always looking for tangible ways to express his love. He has the gift of giving. There is nothing good that he would withhold from me, if it is in his power to procure. My happiness and well-being is utmost on his mind. From our cup of coffee together in the morning, to our shared glass of wine before bed, being together is foremost on his mind. We have Thursday “date night”, Friday lunch dates and occasional special dates. The chat window on our computers daily keeps us in touch during working hours. He is always “there” for me. I can count on him in a crisis or to make a critical decision. He understands me, respects me, protects me. His touch is tender, his embrace unhurried, his heart is sensitive.
No, Howard is not a perfect man; but, he has a perfect love for me. Because of his love, it is easy for me to make the connection to the verses in Ephesians 5:22-33 in regards to husbands and wives as compared to Christ’s love for His church; and in 1 John 4:19 where it says, “We love Him because He first loved us.”
I LOVE HOWARD.

Just a Moment

I am sitting alone at the table, savoring bites of fresh melon from our neighbor’s garden. The air is calm and heavy with moisture from rains past and rains to come.

This is a rare moment, indeed...a cool, quiet morning - IN THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST, NO LESS! This is the kind of moment when I hear God the best. Everywhere I look - everything speaks of Him: of His creativity and care, of His provision and protection.

What is this? The clothespin on my deck line moved! It is a hummingbird, also enjoying the morning’s refreshment. She hastily sips nectar from our feeder, before zipping off to her business in the trees. I, too, know the moment will soon be over. The duties of the day will press me into action. The commotion of energetic boys will break the silence. The thermometer will rise again.

But, in just a moment, my heart’s faith, strength and thankfulness have been renewed.

“Be still and know that I am God”.

“Be still, my soul”.

I am known in my family for re-arranging things. I get “that look in my eye” and they all know that something is about to change. It’s always for the better, somehow. It gives us more room, better functionality, has better eye appeal. Children grow, needs change, priorities change...

We expect babies to change; but, we are never quite prepared for how fast! Even as I type, Louis is gaining weight, and testing out new babbling and physical skills. What a charmer he is! This photo is already out of date, and it’s only from last month.

Sometimes change is long-awaited for, like Patrick’s return home from the Army. We have anxiously anticipated and prepared for it. What a relief and blessing to have him where we can give him the TLC he needs. There will be many adjustments for him in the months to come as he finds work as a civilian and begins the healing process.

Here are some other changes going on: Andrea is home from Kentucky teaching; but off to Mexico for 8 weeks of teaching English to a community of German speaking Russian Mennonites. From there, she flies to KY for a quick visit before attending her cousin Jackie’s wedding in CA; back to KY to finish her visit; then home briefly before an educational excursion to Israel for 3 weeks in September.

Lauren finished her Spring classes with flying colors, as well as an academic achievement award from her psychology professor. She is taking the summer off to be an Auntie and is currently in WA with a friend who just had her first baby.

I feel like I’ve watched Charlotte leap from schoolgirl to an amazing wife and mother in no time at all! What a beautiful sight she is in her new realm. Do you realize that she and Fred celebrated their 1st anniversary already?!

Samuel is entering into the workforce phase of life. Am I ready for this? When he walks into the room, I have to check twice to see if it’s Howard, his stature has changed that much. He is becoming the man-in-demand by more than just his mother.

Micah tickles me, because he is the male version of me, when I was his age. It makes it so much easier to be patient with him when I remember that. :)

Ethan’s well-being made some changes lately that are not at all welcome, nor were they expected, nor are they fully understood. His “normal” seizure activity has been to have a session of grand mals about every 2 months. Not fun; but tolerable, especially when you consider he isn’t on any medication. Well, June brought an incredible increase in that activity, which was frightening, to say the least. He had an entire week (seven days in a row!) of 3-4 hour long sessions of intense seizures. He is back on a mild form of medication, temporarily, to break the cycle. Hopefully, he will return to his normal pattern and perky self very soon.

Joshua - my baby - is growing up too fast for me to keep up. I find myself constantly wishing I had more time with him, one on one. He and I are learning to seize moments together for deep, intellectual conversation or to read a book. I am keenly aware that my time is running out to hug and kiss this boy and hold him on my lap.

In fact, I think that is the crux of this whole epistle: Redeeming the time, because we see it running out, as surely as our bodies grow weary with age. Changes are certain. How are we going to respond to them? It takes moment by moment discernment to utilize each circumstance, each phase of life to it’s fullest. My goal is to do that in a way that glorifies God.